gender has always been performative

pack your matcha, it's time to talk about performative males

I’m currently drinking an iced strawberry matcha and listening to my favourite Clairo album, Charm, with a stack of feminist literature sitting next to me. That’s right, it’s time to break down the new brand of masculinity that everyone is talking about: the “performative male”.

Source: Fit-Object7751 on Reddit

The “performative male” can be spotted wearing a graphic tee and jorts with a Labubu keychain on his tote bag, holding a matcha in one hand and a feminist book in the other while listening to Laufey and Beabadoobee’s greatest hits.

This phenomenon has become such a meme that it has sparked “performative male” contests around the world (step aside, Pedro Pascal lookalikes). At its heart, the “performative male” is a man who embraces traditionally “feminine” interests. It’s implied that men who engage in these interests are only doing so to project an image of progressiveness and trendiness, with the ultimate goal of manipulating women into liking them.

As an Asian feminist, I can’t help but notice that the “performative male” is very Asian-coded. The matcha, the Labubus, Laufey and Beabadoobee? Come on.

Asian men have historically been portrayed as creepy, effeminate, and manipulative men who were a threat to White women, a narrative that began with racist anti-Asian propaganda in the 19th century. It’s unsurprising that to this day, a man who engages in soft, Asian-coded interests is still perceived as predatory and disingenuous.

Softness and Asianness were previously viewed as unattractive traits for men. Now, with the rise of feminism, K-pop and K-dramas, gone are the days of the jocks and frat bros: soft boys are the ones that women want. But how can men fulfill this new standard without being labeled as “performative”?

@andersonyapsnever beating the allegations #fyp

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The term “performative male” is somewhat redundant since gender has always been a performance.

Women have been altering their appearances and personalities to cater towards male fantasy for centuries. Most men are also performing masculinity in some way. For a long time, this has looked like lifting heavy weights at the gym, drinking beer, going to strip clubs and yelling at sports games. Some even lie about their height on dating apps or take steroids to appear bigger and stronger.

While traditional performance reinforces harmful patriarchal stereotypes, the “performative male” eschews pre-existing gender norms and signals that men are actually starting to care about the female gaze.

With the current rise of incels, anti-intellectualism and the alt-right pipeline, it’s refreshing to see that some men are exploring “feminine” interests and searching for a softer form of masculinity.

Shaming “performative males”, even through lighthearted humour, might be doing more harm than good. It’s healthy for men to break away from toxic masculinity and explore the softer parts of their identities, even if they have to play pretend to figure out who they want to be. Men should be allowed to read feminist literature, listen to female artists, and take care of their appearances without becoming a punchline.

There’s a catch: to make real progress, this shift must go beyond aesthetics and start to show up in deeper male allyship. Yes, feminist women are obviously the hottest women, but a true male ally should respect and support all women, not just the ones he’s attracted to. The aesthetics are a great starting place, but what we’re looking for is actual change that goes beyond the surface level.

At the end of the day, gender is a construct that we create. Just look at the drag queens and drag kings who do it every day. Nothing is inherently masculine or feminine; the more we unlearn gender norms, the more we dismantle the patriarchy. Maybe for men, that starts with the so-called “performative males”.

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BAD ASIAN was created and written by eco-feminist activist and journalist Katy Ho.

Katy’s work reaches audiences of over 25 million people around the world. She is a staff writer at FEMINIST, the world’s largest digital platform for intersectional feminism, and writes a monthly column for the Environmental Media Association, Hollywood’s loudspeaker for the planet. Her work has been published by some of the world’s leading platforms for Asian media, including NextShark and Cold Tea Collective.

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